In this article we’ll look at some online dating profile examples and tips for Seeking Arrangement members.
Tips for Online Dating Website Profile
Gone are the days when finding a partner meant walking into a bar and dazzling a member of the opposite sex with your perfect smile and rapier wit, or spending months wooing your colleague across an office cubicle partition while building up the courage to ask them out on a date. Nowadays technology plays a huge – and increasingly important – part in the process, meaning it can be fast, fun and incredibly simple to meet other people, with these meetings frequently leading to loving relationships.
How to write a sugar daddy or sugar baby profile for Seeking Arrangement that gets results.
Dating is big business, and online is increasingly where it’s at. The figures say it all: more than one in five couples get together online, and more than one in six marriages have their roots in the world of dating websites and apps. These figures, as technology becomes ever more pervasive in modern life, are only going to increase. There are countless websites available, and the popularity of the likes of Tinder and Grindr mean a lot of the work – shared geographical location, mutual friends and interests, final compatibility – is done immediately, so users can swipe right on the screen to ‘like’ someone they think is a match or swipe the other way to move on to the next choice.
But while websites and smartphone apps have changed the dating landscape and made it easier than ever before to hook up with a person you like, there are still some basics you need to get right and pitfalls you definitely must avoid. Because while connecting with potential dates may be faster than ever, people are just as quick to make a yes or no decision when they see your online profile. One dodgy photo or a boring bio can often kill any interest stone dead.
So what are the dos and don’ts of online dating? And how do you go about making yourself stand out from a – fast-growing – crowd?
The main thing to remember is that you are marketing yourself. You are selling you as a package: your physical appearance, your personality, your likes and dislikes, your hopes and dreams. To attract people means creating a unique profile, because the world is a busy place and you need to grab their attention quickly – and keep it.
Photograph – profiles with a photo (or photos) are proven to get more hits and interest, so make sure you have a good picture to add to you bio. Try to avoid group shots (people don’t want to have to work out which one you are), or a photo taken at night or in winter. Beware the dreaded ‘red eye’ effect when using a flash, too. Bright, summery shots are the ones to aim for – they add warmth and a sense of happiness to your profile, and are far more attractive to look at. And always update your photo – you change as time moves on, so every twelve to eighteen months will mean a similar change in photograph is required.
NEW: For privacy, Seeking Arrangement allows you to disguise your photo in certain ways. Basically bluring or masking features like eyes or distinctive tattoes is alowed but using a celebrity photo (like subbing in a shot of Clooney or a Kardashian) is a no-no, no matter how close you think the resemblance is. Also, if you do use a photo, do make sure you don’t have your kids in it – that’s against SeekingArrangement policies (and most dating sites). For more information, read our SeekingArrangement review.
Photo taking tips:
We’ll cover photo tips for sugar daddies and women in another article, but the basics are: know your angles, keep in mind what kind of person you’re trying to attract.
Biography – when it comes to your bio, stick to the principle that less is more and you will be fine. Two hundred words or less should suffice – but make it punchy, easy to read and try to inject a little humour if you can. Your biography is one of the first things a potential partner will read, so – as mentioned above – you have to grab their attention. Try to picture yourself in a club or in a social environment where you have a limited amount of time to make an impact on a person you have designs on. Online is exactly the same: you have to convey your personality, lifestyle and hopes for the future very quickly.
Honesty – don’t pretend to be something you are not. Tempting though it may be, exaggerating your personality type, successes, interests and career is never going to end well, especially if your first date leads to a relationship where, at some point down the line, you will be found out. Always be true to yourself; it means you never have to worry about hurting your new partner, or cause them to question everything that they thought they knew about you. Be authentic, be honest and open and fun. Be you. You want somebody to fall for the real you, not a fake person who you dreamt up just to attract more interest on a dating website.
On that note, ask yourself too what kind of a sugar relationship are you looking for, that goes for guys as well as women, most people expect sex to be part of an arrangement. If you’re not comfortable with that, just write it in there “not looking for intimate relationship right away” or “seeking platonic only” That way you can avoid most guys looking for that, plus you’re not wasting yours or his time either.
Be Yourself – this links in with the above. Use your own ‘voice’ when typing your bio and selling yourself. Try not to sound like a box-ticking robot where you are going through the motions in order to attract as many dates as possible. People will sense that you are being disingenuous; seasoned site users can spot a faker from a mile away, and as online dating fraud is a very real thing it can start alarm bells ringing. People will swerve to avoid you as a result. Inject some humour into your profile to show you are human – but don’t go too far. It is very easy to think you are endearing yourself to others by being self-deprecating but never undersell yourself or write anything that could damage your chances (for example: ‘I’m bubbly and fun but could probably lose a few pounds lol’).
Spellcheck is Your Friend – in today’s world of Twitter, WhatsApp and SMS texts, many people don’t place a lot of importance on spelling and grammar. Don’t be that person. It is a fact that many people will dismiss a profile completely if it is poorly written, no matter how attractive you look or what you have accomplished in life. Take your time when writing anything before posting it on the dating website – if need be, use a Word or Pages document first and proofread it until your eyes water. With your bio, the right words are everything… but they have to be in the right order first!
Beware the ‘I’ – be humble. We all know how awful it is to be stuck in a conversation with somebody who constantly talks about themselves. I did this, I know all about that, I am so good at such and such… It’s boring and insufferable, so cut down on the amount of times you refer to yourself. Try to make your profile engaging and show how interested you are in others: their passions, their background and the type of person they are. And avoid showing off (this links in with ‘Honesty’ above). People don’t like braggarts, or someone who exaggerates just for attention.
Show How Sociable You Are – another way to show how interested you are in involving others in your life is by including a brief list of sociable activities that you like to enjoy. Write about interests that potential partners can join in with, such as throwing dinner parties where you prep the food together, hiking trips with friends, or cinema visits where you ‘love to share the magic of film’. If your list reads ‘enjoy watching box sets and eating chocolate all weekend’ then you’re demonstrating that you are a pretty solitary type, and it may turn people off.
Nobody Cares About Your Ex – do not talk about your ex-wife, or partner of sixteen years who left you for the woman who works in the town dry cleaners. By all means be honest if you are divorced or/and have children, but don’t dwell on it. Just update any profile boxes on the dating website that may ask for this information, and move on. Repeated mentions of ‘the ex’ will simply show that you are still mired in the past and are not ready for a new relationship.
I Want, I Want, I Want – we all have our idea of the perfect partner, somebody who will push all our buttons and do the right thing for us. However, demanding this ‘ideal match’ with a shopping list of perfection – ‘must be blonde, blue eyes, intelligent, funny’ or ‘Wanted: tall, good looking, wealthy and the strong, silent type’ – is incredibly off-putting, not to mention tedious. People will glaze over or skip to the next profile (or probably both). Instead, describe what you are looking for in a relaxed yet unique way: ‘Cinema trips aren’t much fun on your own – and everyone stares at you – so if you want to share some popcorn, come along!’ Try being warm and down to earth – not barking out a list of demands. People will respond in kind.
Avoid Cliché… and Sex! – ‘seeking my soulmate’ is as cobwebbed and creaky a phrase as they come, and is now known to put off potential dates. Avoid it. And steer clear of nonsense such as ‘want romantic long walks in the park’ or ‘desperately searching for someone to stroll through the surf with’ and all the other sub-Mills and Boon efforts. You may want to do them, and may in fact get to do them, just don’t put them in your profile. Also: sex. Don’t mention it at all. You will attract the wrong type of person, and encourage them to contact you seeking no-strings-attached hook-ups.
There are a growing number of dating sites that carry out criminal background checks on their members, but there are also websites where you can research potential dates for yourself. Always, always tread carefully: people often embellish their profiles to some degree in order to improve their chances of finding a partner, but some unscrupulous types will create completely fake entries on sites in order to commit their illegal activities. One con known as ‘catfishing’ involves starting a relationship with a wealthy individual in order to steal their money; in 2011 more than fifty million dollars were lost to this scam alone. Always look out for profiles that contain stock photographs, or just an avatar – this is often a sign that they are run by scammers. And never use a stock photo for your own profile – people might think the same of you!
Finish with a Flourish
All the best stories (be they films, novels or plays) have some kind of hook built into the narrative, designed to keep the reader or audience holding their breath or anticipating more. Your profile should include one too, preferably at the end of your bio. Leave the reader wanting more, leave them wanting to get in touch with you. Make it enticing and intriguing – and watch the emails come flooding in.
Confidence – men like confident women, so avoid bland phrases such as ‘I’m not really sure what I’m looking for’. Be assertive, be proud of yourself. Show that you feel good about yourself and know what you want.
Photographs – keep them simple. Look into the camera – research has shown that women who look directly at the lens receive significantly more replies than those whose picture shows them gazing into the distance. And avoid the dreaded, pouty ‘duck face’ – men really, really do not like them.
Keywords – try to include a few specific words in your profile. It has been shown that words or phrases such as ‘laughing’ and ‘easy-going’ attract more hits. Research more of them, and use them.
Be a Tease – flirt a little. Edge towards suggestive, but don’t go too far. This, coupled with your display of self-confidence, will make you a magnet for males on dating sites.
For more profile photo tips, see this article.
Photographs – the opposite is true for male profiles. Look away! Photos of intense, moody men staring off at the horizon seem to be very popular with females. Full body shots are also popular, and are known to increase messages by over two hundred percent. So don’t stare at the lens with a goofy grin. Also: avoid the booze. Don’t place a pic of yourself with your buds swigging Buds. They don’t work. See the post on profile photos to make your Seeking Arrangement profile stand out, and protect your privacy.
Keywords and grammar – as with women, certain words or phrases seem more likely to garner interest from potential dates. In their profiles men should use ‘confidence’, ‘females’ instead of ‘women’ and display strength in spelling and grammar. Avoid ‘cool’, ‘awesome’, ‘funny’ and any other dudebro adjectives that make you sound like a bit of a loser.