In this week’s sugardating advice column we’ve got a few tips for both the sugar daddies and sugar babies. Being a good sugar daddy doesn’t just mean paying up money or buying your sugarbaby gifts and vice-versa. Here are some dos and don’t for sugar daddy success.
Bedroom Dos and Don’ts
Because sugardating isn’t regular dating, Daddys, don’t assume that you are entitled to have sex with her on the first date and every date thereafter. A sugar daddy is looking for a mutually beneficial relationship but she is not a hooker. Yes, most sugar relationships imply that intimacy is part of the mix, but it’s. Sugarbabies looking for platonic dating should state that in their profile either as looking for “strictly platonic” less direct like “arm candy,” “enjoy going to galas, events, etc.” Most women enjoy sex as much as men, but need to feel they’re just a release for men – don’t be afraid to say you want to take things slow or you take a bit of time to warm up. While you’re at it, play it safe and consider getting tested before becoming intimate.
Women seeking platonic isn’t as quite as rare as you’d expect, you’d be surprised how many ladies into sugardating on sugar dating sites like Seeking Arrangement are either are in committed relationships (with or without their partner knowing) or are not sexually active for various religious or moral reasons. The key is communication here so expectations are met on both sides.
Like regualr dating, in sugardating, don’t forget your manners. Treat your sugar daddy or baby the same way you would treat any other date. If you are going to be late, notify them in advance and guys don’t keep her waiting or assume it is okay since you are paying for her time. On that note, be generous too, it might go a long way. Many sugarbabys are used to dating guys who maybe just moved out of their parents’ house, simple things like opening the car door for her or serve her first from a shared plate, unfortunately might be a new experience for some ladies. Know how to read your partner too – if someone is clearly uncomfortable with something, consider if it’s something you want to change, if not maybe you both aren’t a good fit.
Dumping with Dignity
If you are not interested in a particular partner for whatever reasons or don’t wish to continue the arrangement, unless it’s because of a safety issue for you, let them know in a polite way – it’s less likely someone will become vindictive if you handle the breakup with class. Unless there is good reason, don’t be rude to a potential sugar baby or daddy because they aren’t the type you are looking for. Be kind and clear when explaining something. Don’t forget that they are a human with feelings.
Do talk about the money, but…
Sugar dating sites like Seeking Arrangement let you set an expectation of what your willing to spend and are looking for as a monthly allowance. Use this as a guide-line when contacting people. Some guys will inflate their net worth (let’s face it, guys exaggerate many things a bit), while some sugar babies will select a higher amount to weed out guys looking for some quick action at basement prices. Once you get talking, but before meeting, do try and talk about at least rough idea what you’re looking for. This doesn’t have to be cold numbers, but maybe you might talk about rent being covered or phones bills, what stores you like to shop at, are you interested in flying to distant places. All this should give you an idea if both of you are thinking in the same range.
Lets face it, people don’t want to talk about, “I want $500 to spend 2-3 hours in a hotel every other week plus dinner and some shopping.” Ok, honestly I’ve heard variations of that, but most people aren’t comfortable getting down to that level of detail with someone they’ve only talked online with.
If you’ve talked about a rough idea of what your expectations are, it’s probably time to meet for a dinner, get to know each other – with no expectations. Don’t make her bring up monitory compensation whether in the early discussion or when actually on a date. Bring up the matter swiftly, handle it and move ahead.
Nobody likes to really put a price on themselves, so deal with it early and dont’ dwell on it.
Do Assume Discreet
Sugardating relationships are still a bit of a taboo, so do assume your partner doesn’t want the whole world (or the restaurant) to know business and keep the arrangement discreet. Not everyone will be comfortable with others knowing about their sugar life. Be as discreet as you think is appropriate and be open with him or about the amount of discretion you expect. This might be as simple as avoiding public displays of affection (PDA), maybe referring to her as you niece or another plausible reason two unrelated people with a noticeable age gap are together. Examples include her being a TA (Teaching Assistant) or graduate student, management trainee, etc. Other things to consider might be where you decide to meet – are there places you or her might run into co-workers, family friends, or other people who might ask unexpected questions. Generally avoid places where either of you are might be in regular attendance, especially if either of you are in a relationship – a friendly question from a server (e.g “I haven’t seen your uncle here lately”) while out with family could lead to awkward questions. This is why we also suggest you talk about exclusivity.
Exclusive or Not
In sugardating, be honest about your relationship status and whether you have other sugar babies or daddies at the same time – if they ask. Some people prefer to be exclusive for different reasons, others are quite open to multiple partners. Most people just assume there are parts of your life that you keep private, like they keep parts of their lives private.
In case it needs to be said, unless they ask or you’re in a long-term arrangement, don’t compare your sugardaddy or baby with anyone else in your life or your previous sugar partner. Maybe ask yourself why you want to know and if you got an unexpected answer, how would that change your impression of your partner.
Most ladies will mention in their profile how they feel about their sugar daddy’s exclusivity – something as simple as “No married guys” is direct and to the point; whether it’s to avoid a messy dust-up with the Mrs. or moral objections is your own business.
Do Keep Your Safety In Mind
Stay safe. Staying safe is extremely important for both of you both sexually and financially. While suggesting something new is completely fine, don’t force her into doing anything she doesn’t want to. Always use protection during sex, at least in the initial stages of your arrangement, and stay hygienic. Financially too it is important to stay safe don’t give her your bank accounts password, ATM pass code or other sensitive information.
Lastly -Do Have Fun With Sugardating
Have fun and keep things fresh. Sugardating is an opportunity to try new things, and both daddies and babies are usually more than willing to try new and exciting things with you. Whether in the bedroom or out on a trip, make an effort to be the kind of sugar daddy every sugar baby dreams about.