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The Big List of Tips for Guys Using Seeking Arrangement

We’ve collected a list of tips for guys who are new to sugar daddy websites like Seeking Arrangement. Most of these come from forums, and we’ve added in some of our own tips and organized them by topics.

Since being launched over a decade ago, Seeking Arrangement (SA) has become the leading sugar dating website, but most advice is aimed at women using it. We’ve collected a big list of tips from guys who have used the website successfully to save you time.

For guys, there are no up-front costs. You can sign-up and start browsing profiles right away. You only need a membership once you want to start sending or reading messages.

Getting Started

  • Start with a free account. You can upload pictures, profile, and favourite members. The only thing you can’t do is message anyone. Ladies can favourite and message you, so save your cash until you get some leads.
  • Write a clear profile that tells people what you are looking for and not looking for, without coming off as creepy, angry or looking for a sex worker (skim ladies’ profiles, and you’ll see a bunch that go out of the way to remind readers they’re not hookers). See this article for tips on writing a Seeking Arrangement profile.
  • It’s free for females to join and message other members. They can be premium members, which puts them up on the main page, but they can pay by the week, I think, instead of monthly subs.
  • For women, obviously, their personal safety is pretty much their top concern, probably followed by being made to feel “cheap” anything you can do to show you care about their safety and feelings will go a long way in your favour.

The Profile

  • It’s all how you write your profile. Basically, spell out exactly what you are looking for but watch the wording as SA will block it. While SA has changed its wording to discourage PPM/P2P arrangements, you can usually say you will make an “allowance” per meet. Say they will have to do everything (within reason obviously) you want, if THEY agree, to contact you back. If not, don’t bother. This will weed out 80% of them.
  • Avoid overly sexual language or talking money (that’s against Seeking Arrangement’s terms of service too)
  • If you’re looking for sex, then intimacy/intimate are the words to use, but keep it classy.
  • Don’t mention money specifically. Rather you want to help out or support someone. Also, mention some of your other assets. Many women are looking for help in getting their career started or looking for advice – show that you’re more than a wallet.
  • Again, after five or six emails, offer them your email address in case they’re unable to log in to SA.  Sometimes offered your phone number helps too, but I suggest you use a burner phone app rather than your real phone number, as there’s a lot of spambots who would love to harvest personal information like that.

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Profile Photos

  • It’s probably a good idea to put a partial pic as a public face for your profile. If you are slim and not obviously horrific-looking, a cropped pic of your lower face with a decent car or something will do wonders for your image… But only send full face pics once they have sent a pic to you with username and date on a piece of paper or something. Apparently, some weirdos run fake profiles apparently to get sugar daddy photos.
  • My profile one is a clothed full body from the rear quarter, so it doesn’t show the face. Then a private one of me on holiday and my face is partially blurred by the sunray/camera lens. I made sure not to use any photos I have on my social media if any savvy lasses use TinEye etc. My Kik address got taken down after 2 days, but a fair few had already contacted me by then. I’ve changed it to say I’m on Kik, and so far, it’s alright. Half a brain would search my SA handle for my Kik name, I’d guess.
  • Pick a discrete profile picture. If you don’t want to show your face, take a photo where the flash partially obscures it, then when the girl mentions it, say you have trouble taking a photo without the flash being in the wrong place, and would they like to take one for you? Read more profile photo tips here.
  • Some people recommend using a picture of someone who sorts of looks like you (maybe a cousin or distant relative). This is against SA’s policies, but apparently, this is being done.

Searching Seeking Arrangement

  • You can select age, race, location, etc., whatever you want to narrow the list down. Then tag ALL of them. They will see who did it and read your profile.
  • In 2016, they added tagged searches, so you can “Don’t / Show Members Looking For” you can pick from a list of categories. For instance, under “Don’t Show”, you can screen out members looking for “Platonic” or under “Show”, selected “Friends With Benefits” and “Discretion.”
  • My search radius when I was active was 25miles (50Km), and that would put me in a range of girls nearby cities, being a short train or bus ride for girls if they wanted to meet.
  • With profile listed, the game will “favourite” and message you are releasing additional photos they may have. Delete/hide the ones you don’t want. Now you have a list of SB ready to work with.
  • Look through the ones you really want and start messaging to narrow down the details of the where / when / Most will meet for coffee and such, so that gets you a chance to preview, no “allowance” needed. If things work out and you are not a slob, it is pretty easy for the next step, or even a quick date right there and then.
  • Yes, there are escorts on the site. You can usually tell by the language they use, the photos, and they’re sometimes very straightforward about “dates.”
  • There’s also a lot of wanting online relationships. Put that in your profile. That’s not what you’re looking for.
  • Girls from all over the world view and favourite you…..they are all timewasters or cam girls.
  • In the profile text search box, use words such as Intimate, Casual, NSA. While some girls will put “NSA”, others will say “no strings attached” or just “no strings”, so a search on the word “strings” can often pull up some interesting prospects. Note: this search option seems to have been removed in early 2018. Use tagged searches instead.
  • The terms “paypig” or “findom” that quite a few mention. It doesn’t exist IMO. I feel it’s BS made up by SA PR people to get more girls enticed to the site. I think that’s mostly BS, too, as a couple of the girls I’ve seen have mentioned they’ve been offered tons of money just for text and pics, which they’ve turned down.

Messaging sugar-babies

  • Make your initial message polite. Don’t go both feet in with a message asking straight off if they want to have sex for some amount. The number of girls who have said they only replied to me because I was polite and didn’t make a weird request is 100% and try to make out you want to know them and you’re not just looking for pussy because, you know, they’re not escorts.
  • When a girl contacts me, the messages either start with just a plain hi or something more substantial, e.g., hi, I’m xxx, I’m interested in your profile, what you are looking for, etc.
    If the former, I assume that the girl is interested in my profile and wants to know more about myself, so I reply something along the lines of hi, thanks for looking at my profile/contacting me, what you offer, and what do you want. If the latter, I’m a bit more direct. I thank her for her interest and ask her how often she wants to meet, what she wants financially etc.
  • After receiving a message, I’ve waited at least 30 minutes, usually longer, before replying. Again, no need to look too desperate by replying immediately. Before replying, I’ve looked at the girl’s profile and tailored my reply to suit (no pun intended). I usually ask if I’m looking for and explaining I can only meet at certain times. No mention of expenses yet.
  • I’ve found the thing to do is favourite the girls you like, then wait. Sometimes they contact you. Sometimes they favourite you back, in which case I contact them. Sometimes they do neither, so I leave it a day or two and then contact them. Usually, those don’t reply, but it’s worth a shot.
  • I always make sure I reference something in their profile in the first message to know I’m paying attention to them and not just splashing out randomly.
  • Several times, within the first few messages, the girls have said, “I’m looking for a pay-per-meet deal”, which is great. I’ve got one on the go that is looking for something more regular. Sometimes they string you along. One kept me going for a while with a promise of a pay-per-meet, then said she wanted a social meeting first, and I had to pay the same amount for that one. Sorry, Luv, I’ve got loads of people I can meet socially without paying them, and the chances are you’ll decide to take the money and not see me again. Another kept me going for a long time before telling me she was only interested in online arrangements. Nope, not my thing.
  • I’m told that things get even better later in the year. Students start each term planning to spend their money sensibly, but then various things come along, and they end up running out. Sad for them, but it’s our gain!
  • A huge proportion is scammers/timewasters and girls who want to cam or make online arrangements. It only takes a msg or 2 to weed these out. Anyone who asks for money within the first couple of msgs from them is usually scammers and timewasters. Numerous girls want an online relationship, swapping photos/videos etc. I’ve changed my profile to state that I’m not interested in that type of arrangement. It’s meeting only.

The Arrangement

  • No matter what they say, find out in a general way what their financial needs are.
  • When the subject of expenses does come up, I always ask what the girl is expecting. Often she’ll reply asking what I’m offering. I plead ignorance, saying that every girl has different expectations; if she wants my patronage, she should name her price. I usually receive an offer of $200-300 (£150-£200) per meeting. Bit vague, so I ask how long she wants to meet. Sometimes it’s for two hours, other times three or four, depending on the girl’s age and how rough they are! If she still refuses to give a price and wants me to make an offer, I ignore that request. Eventually, she’ll give a price (only one girl flatly has refused to give me a price)
  • Once you find out, state what you can offer per date without defining what a date is.
  • If they agree to your per date amount… move to text or email and let them know specifically your expectations for them to receive the agreed-upon allowance.
  • The trick is to get their phone number as soon as you sense a bite that they’d be up for what you want.
  • Make your date or move to the next one.

Privacy and Scammers

  • Get a burner phone. Even if you don’t, get an app like Burner or others. Remember, these numbers can be tracked down if police become involved, but it will protect you from scammers or people who become too attached. Keep in mind that real numbers can be usually traced back through Facebook and other social media.
  • There are a lot of scammers out there, just like AdultWork. As with any form of punting, the simple rule is not to part with any money till you’ve seen the goods face to face.
  • If you’re not comfortable, don’t bring people to your home. Use a hotel or other options like Airbnb.
  • Look for profile warning signs.
  • I had to do my fair share of homework trawling through various social profiles, which I found on minimal clues as usual; I recommend everyone does this to weed out the scammers – start with the SA username and tineye on the photos.
  • Any profile mentioning material possessions and Amazon wishlists is probably a no-no.
  • If you are concerned about your privacy online, look into VPN (Virtual Private Network) software. The ones aimed at consumers, like VyperVPN, are pretty easy to set up.

First Meeting

  • If you’re meeting for someone for the first time, unless you’ve agreed to a “small gift” ($50 or so to show you’re serious),  avoid giving it to her right at the start of the date, while it’s the exception, there are ladies who will disappear as soon as they get the money, usually with an excuse like going to the bathroom. If you are really against this, you could suggest that you don’t usually make an allowance on the first meeting, but your open to one if they’re open to things progressing (most people on SA are aware of intimacy being part of an arrangement).
  • If you’re meeting someone at a place you’re not familiar with, make sure you check it on Google Maps at least, especially if someone suggests a hotel or private location – or better yet, make the first meeting public.

Talking Money

  • If someone asks for money upfront before the meeting, tell them you don’t do that, offer to call and talk with them. Most scammers won’t do that (maybe because they’re actually guys?)
  • Don’t fall for the prepaid / sob story / medical / just friend / spiel. Never pay ahead.
  • If you get one that pleads poverty and “can’t afford train ticket”, but you think might be a genuine offer to send them an e-ticket. I.e. Not the money. Should sort out the genuine ones.
  • PayPal: If you send a girl money via Paypal, ALWAYS make sure you send it as goods/services. They will more than likely try to get you to send it to Friends and Family – but if you do this and they do a runner with your cash, you can’t put a claim into Paypal to get it back!
  • If you get one that pleads poverty and “can’t afford train ticket”, but you think might be a genuine offer to send them an e-ticket. I.e. Not the money. Should sort out the genuine ones.
  • According to the forums, for the younger girls (18-23-year-olds), your max should be $500 a meet, average around $300, older ladies think less, 28 to 40 years old are the pretty sweet spot for a good deal. Don’t ask about an amount right away, “Pay Per Meet” is against the terms and conditions and can get your account flagged.
  • Remember, once the money is out of your hand, it’s gone.

Where to Date

While most ladies are looking for more than just bedroom adventures when they decide to join a site like Seeking Arrangement, there is a physical side to it like any other type of dating.

  • If you are uncomfortable bringing people home, you have several options. The easiest way is, of course, a hotel. Ladies might also find it more comfortable from a safety point of view.
  • Well, you are giving the vibe of a wealthy sugar daddy. Booking a $60 travel lodge does not give the impression of a cash-rich free-wheeler. Booking a decent hotel midweek is around $70-$90. And they generally have a bar area for the public meet up; Don’t book until I’ve seen them in person.
  • I’ve used a very nice day-use hotel in Manchester for a few of my meets. £60, and you don’t pay till you check-in. I can use it between 10-5. Meet in the bar for a drink, then go check-in. The only thing you waste is time if she doesn’t turn up.
  • Airbnb is a good choice as you can rent a room or a whole house for the price compared to a hotel. The downsides are you have to book in advance. Some cities restrict how rentals like Airbnb hosts can operate, so see if services like Airbnb are available in your city.
  • Day hotels. Many hotels will rent during the day as well as nights. Sometimes at much less than overnight rates,  Several search engines can find and book these, including hotelsbyday.comDayuse.co.uk, between9and5.com  This is a good option if you plan to meet up in the afternoons, 11 am – 5 pm is the typical “daytime”. If you’re in the area, you can also drop in and ask rooms are available. Sometimes you can get better rates than booking online.


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Meeting at a Hotel

  • I also point out that I don’t expect them to come straight to my hotel room. I prefer to meet in reception, thus giving the girl the chance to back out if I’m not what they’re looking for. It seems to put them more at ease.

Why not give it a try? For guys, there are no up-front costs. You can sign-up and start browsing profiles right away. You only need a membership once you want to start sending or reading messages.

Note: most of these tips come from forums.

  • https://barepunting.info/viewforum.php?f=21
  • http://www.usasexguide.info/

http://www.seekingarrangement.com/joinfree.php